GolfestOnline.com
The Quest to Play the Top 100 Public Golf Courses in the United States
(Updated 1/22/12 - 8:08 p.m.) ... GolfestOnline.com has announced that the annual skirmish best known as the GOLFEST CUP is officially on the books for March 24-25th at the Oak Quarry Golf Club in Riverside, CA. For those of you needing a quick refresher, the GOLFEST CUP pits TEAM California vs. TEAM USA in an entertaining Ryder Cup formatted competition, with the ultimate prize being 12 months worth of bragging rights and the perpetual Sterling Silver Golfest Cup. While it may not exactly be for national pride like the Ryder or Presidents Cup, winning the Golfest Cup makes for pretty good conversation at just about any happy hour - especially if you are on the winning team. What else could you possibly ask for?
Both teams picked their captains for the 2012 adventure. Arizonian Kasey Scheidenlein has been tagged as the kingpin of TEAM USA. Jeffrey Adkins will lead the defending champion contingent from the Golden State. For those of you whom never have played in an "everything counts" event such as a Ryder Cup format, it may be one of the hardest things you ever do from a mental standpoint. Compared to your standard 18-hole leisurely affair where your buds might allow you a bump, a free drop or and the occasional mulligan, it's a play it where it lies deal in the Cup. If it's buried in 5" of wet rough, you better be prepared to dig it out or take an unplayable. Move it and your team automatically loses the hole. It gives you a newfound respect for the PGA professionals that we watch and take for granted on the Golf Channel.
Oak Quarry Golf Club, located in Riverside about 15-minutes from the Ontario Airport, presents an interesting challenge in that it is carved through the historic Jensen Quarry, which supplied limestone, marble and various other minerals for construction in Los Angeles heyday. Today, it's a well thought out golf course that winds its way up, down, and around the local foothills and ravines. There are some very attainable birdie holes, but also a larger collection of flagsticks that scream bogey or worse. Three of the four par threes, including the best par-three in California (#14), require a carry over a ravine or canyon. Ravines also line the entire fairways on nine other which means swinging from the lower extremities will probably get one in trouble. The greens are quick and multi-tiered so just getting there in two doesn't guarantee success.
Saturday's competition will feature Fourball Matches in the morning, and a two-man best ball Scramble in the afternoon. The Scramble was installed in favor of the traditional alternate shot format - which can be mind numbing for those with A.D.D. Singles Matches are on tap for Sunday morning. A win earns your team a point, a tie is worth a half-point, and a loss might cost you your sanity and a trip to the clubhouse bar! As always, it should be interesting, entertaining, and dish up its fair share of epic bunny-hopping moments!
As of right now, because they have the "right of first refusal" to be on their respective teams, here are what the teams look like now. Scheidenlein is looking to add a few more travelers to the mix which will allow the event to grow to 10-12 players per team. TEAM CALIFORNIA is maintaining a "waiting list" of golfers based on the USA body count. The teams will be finalized and announced on February 11th.
TEAM USA: Captain Kasey Scheidenlein (AZ), Jim Dee (IN), Spanky Hayes (AZ), Clyde Hayes (AZ), Greg Haeussler (NV), Mark Pickering (AK), Bob Potts (UT), and Danny Young (AZ).
TEAM CALIFORNIA: Captain Jeffrey Adkins, Jim Allen, Mike Barbone, Kirk Dragmire, John Lundgren, Mike Rittiner, Mark Suzda, and Art Taylor.
TEAM CALIFORNIA won the 2011 event by a score of 10.5 to 5.5. For more info, go to HERE!
(Updated 1/8/12 - 1:56 p.m. ... by Jim Allen) ... Up to this point in my always entertaining Golfest career, the highest amount paid for a 18-hole green fee was $420 at the world famous Pebble Beach Golf Resort. For those of you at home without a calculator, that works out to an eye-opening $23.33 per hole, or $4.66 every time you swing the club if you play bogey golf. When you throw in a $60 caddy fee and a $50 tip, those numbers jump up to $29.44 and almost six bucks a swing. But for most, Pebble Beach is a once in a lifetime type of experience that rates right up there with going to a Super Bowl or game seven of a World Series. Better said, it's worth every penny!
But records are made to be broken, especially those related to anything Golfest. Let me explain. Golfestian's Jeffrey Adkins 
and Jim Allen, along with a pair of our super salesmen Ryan Ostronic and Scott Manley, had the opportunity to play one of the two most exclusive courses in Las Vegas in December. The green fee investment literally blew the Pebble Beach mark out of the water. This stellar outing took place at the over-the-top Wynn Resort, which dinged the VISA card to the tune of $500 per pop (like in each.) Throw in $50 for a caddy and a $50 tip and the new world economy green fees worked out to a record-setting $33 per hole, or $6.67 every time we swung their Callaway Razor rental clubs.
GO AHEAD, ask the $600 question ... was it worth it? Well it had everything you would expect ... fairways like carpet, perfectly manicured bunkers, lightening fast greens, great service, a knowledgeable caddy, and it served up a great overall experience with the casino towers serving as a backdrop. While there may only be one Pebble Beach, there is also one Wynn Resort Course, and we would return again in a heartbeat. And in reality, the amount spent for five hours of entertainment was probably cheaper than the dontation we might have made at their gaming tables.
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My smoking hot girlfriend Tiffany and I took advantage of some slow play last Saturday at the Eagle Glen Golf Course and had sex while waiting to hit our approach shots on the eighth hole. When we finally made it to the green, Tiffany slid the flag off the flagstick and stuck it in her golf bag. When I asked what she was doing, she said it's a golf tradition that if you have sex on the golf course, you earn the right to keep the flag on the hole played. Is that true? Signed ... Golf Purist!
Dear GP,
Although you will not find it in the Official Rules of Golf, that tradition is absolutely true. However, you might want to be concerned by the fact that your hottie knew all about it in the first place. My second concern is ... you had sex in the time you were waiting to play your approach shot??? Are you kidding me? Either play was really slow, or your play was extremely fast! ... MM ...
Hey Mully,
My regular golf partner is grossing me out. He keeps blowing his nose in my golf towel. What should I do? Signed ... Disgusted.
Mr. D,
As far as golf course etiquette goes, that''s about as low and disgusting as it gets. In my book, turnabout is fair play. Next time you have to use the bathroom at the course, you know what to do. ... MM ...
Mr. Mulligan Man,
I don't want to waste any of your time, so here's my question ... are there any similarities between Viagra and golf? Signed the Thinker!
Mr. Thinker,
In fact, the two products are so different that they are the same. Let me explain. Have you ever really listened to that 30-second side effects disclaimer at the end of every Viagra commercial? You know ..., the stuff about headaches, dizziness, upset stomach, flushing and blurred vision ... and to contact a medical professional if you're still sporting a driver after four or so hours? Now think about the last time you were at the golf course behind a group of imitation golfers hacking there way to a marathon 4 1/2 hour-plus round. Headaches, dizziness, upset stomach, blurred vision ... all symptoms of standing around too long with your driver in your hand. It's all the same! Make sense? ... MM ... (MORE) ...
