(CONT'D) ... Our group stayed in the Lilly Pond Rooms, a rugged outdoorsy condominium lodge type of building. The rooms were good and clean and the views out the back windows were of post card quality. No complaints were to be had in this department. And getting around the resort required the simple act of calling a shuttle bus. This would be the same shuttle bus that Mr. Adkins would stumble out of and take a head dive into the asphalt later that night. The new scrape on his head matched his hands.
One of the cool things about Bandon Dunes is that they assign you the same caddy for the trips duration. While they are there to do the grunt work and provide course knowledge, they become an extension of your foursome. If there
is one thing that our group does well and that is laugh. The caddy’s fit in very well with their own humorous stories. We tipped very well.
By the luck of the draw, it was raining the next morning as we warmed up for our round at Pacific Dunes. Well, not exactly raining, but a wet marine-layer drizzle which made rain gear a top priority. Apparently, this is normal for Oregon in July. Once again, our group spent heavily in the Pro Shop. About midway through the round, the weather cooperated and Pacific Dunes proudly showed us why it is worthy of a Top 10 rating. We finished at high noon, which left all of us three hours for lunch and a power nap before Bandon Dunes. Best nap most of us ever took.
Bandon Dunes provided more of the same sites and scenery and the sun even came out making it a great ending to a great day. The other lesson learned on this day is that land is Oregon is affordable. In places like Southern California, you can literally fall off a green and land on the tee box of the next hole. At Bandon Dunes, you’ll walk a football field to get to the next hole. Six miles became closer to eight and all of us began to experience “feet issues.” Most of us took off our golf shoes and were surprised to look down and watch them swell into something resembling duck feet. Are you sure they don’t have carts here?
Dinner at the Gallery Restaurant at the Bandon Dunes Lodge was a top notch gig. The food and drink was great – possibly falling into the “best-ever” category because we were extremely tired and hungry. Somewhere during the event Mike challenged Jeffrey and his father-in-law to a $1000 per hole skins match the next day – combined score. Little did I know, I was going to be Mike’s partner. I was reluctant, especially since Dan was hitting it great and I wasn’t. Mike’s theory was Dan was going to do what he does, but the wheels were going to fall off of Jeffrey’s wagon. After all, he had experienced a tough 48-hours. A couple of cocktails later and I was committed, or should have been. In fact, when comparing two rounds in a cart, versus walking two rounds, alcohol tends to be consumed with a lot less effort. Most of us were listing like a ship taking on water, especially first time golfester and fireman Art Taylor. His fire truck bounced off a few walls on the way out of the restaurant. He missed dinner and desert, but solidly endorsed the martinis.
Our group was loitering around the first tee box of the Bandon Dunes course at around 10:30 a.m. the next morning. Most of us were in various stages of disarray – sore backs, blisters, but all well-medicated and well-fed with an extra dose of breakfast. All were ready to go. By the luck of the draw, the skins group of Allen and Werner vs. Adkins and Hecht were the first out. Things got scary when all four of us piped our drives into perfect positions on the 352-yard dogleg right. But things got out of hand the second Jeffrey grabbed his nine-iron, which he is famous for hitting anywhere from 130 yards to 210 yards – both horizontally and vertically. Mike and I easily took the hole. That had to be the easiest grand either of us had ever made. Mike quietly smirked, “I told you,” as we strutted to the next hole.
Something went terribly wrong during the next hour and a half. The Adkins-Hecht group was hotter then a whore in church. Dan
was painfully consistent and Jeffrey was draining 50-foot triple-breakers like the greens funneled directly into the hole. At the turn they were laughing and up by three skins. Surprisingly, Mike wasn’t nervous, but I could have strangled him. It was like he had inside information. On the back nine, Dan continued to play his normal game, but Mike’s prediction on Jeffrey was 100% accurate. It was like watching a golf cart crash in slow motion. He shanked, dribbled, chunked, hacked and three-putted like there was no tomorrow. The nine-iron didn’t help his cause either. On the other side of the coin, Mike and I pulled it all together and won six of the last seven holes to pocket $1500 each. I had a few investors in my share by Golfesters who wanted a piece of the action. Either way, I went to bed with $1200 under my pillow, dreaming about using golf carts at Bandon Trails the next day. I would have paid all $1200 to rent one.
Speaking of Bandon Trails, this course had just opened four weeks earlier. Our caddy’s had spent the two previous days raving about the 6260-yard course, which was good, because we didn’t know what to expect. As it turned out, this baby turned out to be the diamond in the rough. It is cut through some very scenic country, slightly inland from its two sister courses. It is laid out beautifully in its natural wooded surroundings and is worthy of a future top 10 rating. Many in our group labeled it the best of the three courses. It was like taking a long nature walk. Being played on a sunny day helped the cause.
But as the Bandon Trails round wore on, so did some of Golfest participants. One of the saddest sights in Golfest history may have been watching the walking-wounded gimp up the hilly 372-yard finishing hole. It was like watching an old war movie with the injured and wounded soldiers limping back home. Not in a derogatory way, but it was a death march for many as we hobbled the final 100 yards up to the green. Blisters were the bursting, arches no longer arched, and shoes no longer fit correctly. Here is the funny part: This was the first of two rounds scheduled for the day. After a two-hour break, our group was supposed to be headed to Pacific Dunes for the second-half of the doubleheader. The key phrase in that sentence is “supposed to be.” Only two made the call – Bob “Pottsie” Potts, and Craig Decker and both proceed to shoot in the high 70’s. The rest of the group opted for Advil, band aids, massages, food, baths, alcohol, showers, and naps. If only they had golf carts.
But seriously, compliments to Bandon Dunes on their commitment to keep the game in its original form – no carts. Having carts terrorizing their courses would not be fair and would quickly drop the place out of the rankings. The only advice we would like to lend is -- be prepared.
I am also proud to announce that we made it home with a lot less commotion then the trip up. We were considering buying Jeffrey one of those fake glasses-mustache deals for the way home, but couldn’t find one in the airport gift shop. Instead we gave everyone the impression that he was John Gotti. Nobody messed with us on the way home.
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