GOLFEST 2005

GolfestOnline.com
A Quest to Play the Top 100 Public Golf Courses in the United States

A Quest to Play the Top 100 Public Golf Courses

GOLFEST 2005 - BANDON DUNES
Ranking - Course - Date
4 - Pacific Dunes (two rounds) - 6/27 & 6/29
6 - Bandon Dunes Golf Course (two rounds)- 6/27-28
NR - Bandon Trails - 6/29

     (Written by Jim Allen) ... A small slice of Oregon’s best coastline property was the destination for Golfest 2005. Located just a few miles north of the California border is the Bandon Dunes Golf Resort; a place that their website describes as, “where the Pacific Ocean meets the rugged shoreline of the Southern Oregon Coast, three distinct courses await you.” If you could put that on a Hallmark card and give it to me on Fathers Day, I’m going to bust a tear! But seriously, it’s currently one of the hottest golf destinations in the world, because it’s built around golf – and little else.

     On this trip, we learned several new things about Golfest.

The short list includes:
(1). Getting there is just half the adventure.
(2). Father-in-laws can come in handy.
(3). Betting a $1000 a hole is stressful.
And …
(4). It is possible to actually dream about golf carts.

     Let me take the liberty to explain. It is amazing that Bandon Dunes, which boast two courses in the top ten (#4 Pacific Dunes & #6 Bandon Dunes), can be located in such a remote location. This year’s 10-golfers flew in from Las Vegas, Ontario (CA), Phoenix, Sacramento, and Salt Lake. No matter where the starting point, Portland and North Bend were on the flight plan. A regular jet to Portland and one of those 20-person crop duster types to North Bend. From there, it’s a 35-minute shuttle bus ride to the resort.

     Mike Werner, Jeffrey Adkins, Art Taylor and I made the junket from Sacramento aboard Alaskan Airlines. Since I fly for business frequently, traveling is no big deal. That was before I met the lady at the Alaskan ticket counter. She saw the name James Allen, compared it to the FAA watch list – and wah-laa – her eyes bug out like the headlights on a Volkswagen. Apparently, when I fly Southwest using the name Jim Allen, I’m just your standard white Caucasian business traveler. But when it gets booked as James Allen, it might as well be Osama, because it’s on the terrorist watch-list. Heck, the only thing I ever blew up was my scorecard after shooting 115 at my local course. After thirty-minutes of additional screening, I was finally able to join the other travelers in the bar. Chambord margaritas were the drink of choice and the bartender made them tall.

     Let’s take this opportunity to introduce you to Jeffrey Adkins. He is a hands-on guy who looks like a shorter version

of alleged mobster John Gotti. He owns this massive ranch style home in Wilton, CA, which is in a constant state of construction and improvement. You can usually tell when there is a new project underway at the Adkins Estate by the bloody scars and band aids on his hands. Something big must have been going on. Jeffrey’s business partner Mike Werner on the other hand had thrown out his back a couple of days earlier and was only able to make the trip with the assistance of Mr. Percoset. Needing a painkiller for his mangled hands, Mike offered and Jeffrey accepted. Mr Percoset ... Mr Adkins ... Mr. Adkins ... Mr. Percoset. Now I know it says not to drink and operate heavy machinery on the label – but he was just drinking. Three margaritas later and Jeffrey could have lost a limb in a chain saw accident --- and not felt a thing. This was going to be a very interesting plane ride.

Art and I sat together while Mike and Jeffrey held down a row 10 feet back. A few minutes after getting airborne, the wailing started. Jeffrey was singing – in an inquiring sort of way …. “Jiiiiiimmmmm……. Jiiiiiimmm Allen?” Like most everyone on the plane, I looked back only to be greeted with a drunken smile. For some strange reason, it was pretty funny until I realized that all 128 people on this flight now knew me by name. This happened several more times. Art just looked at me and laughed as I slumped in my seat. But relief was in site. Minutes later, after not being acknowledged, Jeffrey changed his gameplan, “Aaaaarrt ...… Aaaaaarrt Taylor? My turn to laugh. Portland couldn’t get here quick enough.

By the luck of the draw, our entire party connected in Portland with a two-hour layover. Joining us was Jim Dee from Arizona, Utah’s Bob Potts, Las Vegas golfers Rickey Berger and Craig Decker, So Cal’s Tony Fernandes, and Mike’s father-in-law Dan Hecht, who actually lives in Oregon. If you ever get the chance to spend time in the Portland Airport – get a root canal instead. There is a bar and little else. It should be pointed out that in a casual atmosphere like an airport, a lot of alcohol can be consumed by golf buddies in 120 minutes. We also discovered that the FAA doesn’t want anyone on a plane that is intoxicated. It’s actually against the law, which means that sitting at the bar can be regarded as entrapment. When our boarding call finally came, we broke away in small groups as our tabs got squared up.

At this point in the game, Jeffrey wasn’t intoxicated. He was chemically-imbalanced on a Chambord-Tequilla-Percoset cocktail. The excitement began when he handed his boarding pass to the attendant and actually fell down; not tripped and fell down, but the room is spinning fell down. Surprisingly, he managed to stumble back up and get on the plane before the friendly people at Horizon airlines realized the situation. They wanted him off the plane. This is where the conservative father-in-law came in handy – in this case Dan Hecht. Somehow, he managed to negotiate with

airline representatives and work some magic to keep Jeffrey on the plane -- with a couple of rules. The guidelines were we had to box Jeffrey into a window seat and keep him quiet. The boxing in part was okay, but we could have used a sock. Needless to say, Jeffrey passed out and we made it to North Bend without getting arrested or served another drink by the flight attendant. Without Dan, Jeffrey would have needed a bail bondsman.

The golfing portion of the trip was going to kick off in a big way with a double-header planned the first day. Pacific Dunes in the morning and Bandon Dunes in the afternoon. There is one key fact that everyone should know prior to traveling to this resort --- there are no carts. It’s not an option – there are none on the property. It’s the way golf used to be played several decades ago, which might also explain why they didn’t live as long. All of us knew that we would be walking with a caddy a few months prior. The smart ones spent time on a treadmill to prepare. Some of us even did the math: 6400 yards is about four miles – if you hit it straight. Most of us planned on walking six miles. (MORE)