GOLFEST 2006

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A Quest to Play the Top 100 Public Golf Courses in the United States

A Quest to Play the Top 100 Public Golf Courses

GOLFEST 2006 - MYRTLE BEACH
Rank - Course - Date
8 - The Ocean Course - Kiawah Island - 4/30
14 - Harbour Town Golf Links - 4/29
38 - Barefoot Resort & Golf - Love - 5/4
39 - The Dunes Golf & Beach Club - 5/4
58 - Caledonia Golf & Fish Club - 5/2
67 - Tidewater Golf Club & Plantation - 5/3
78 - The Heritage Club - 5/1
81 - Barefoot Resort & Golf - Fazio - 5/3
93 - True Blue Golf Club - 5/2
NR - Pawleys Plantation Golf & C.C. - 5/1

     ... (Written by Jim Allen) ... Golfest 2006 turned out to be our most aggressive golf adventure to date. After reviewing the Golf Digest list, we discovered that South Carolina proudly plays host to nine of the Top 100 courses. This ties the state of Michigan for the highest number of premier courses. Who would’ve guessed? Now this trip would be walk in the park if all nine courses were conveniently located in the greater Myrtle Beach area. However, in this case, the courses stretch the entire distance of the states coastline. This trip would start on Hilton Head Island and work its way right up to the Barefoot Resort, just a few miles south of the North Carolina border.

     If you ever want to fill up your recycle bin, send away for a South Carolina Tourism Guide. In the matter of weeks, you will receive literally hundreds of mailbox cloggers plugging every hotel, resort and golf course in the state. It’s way too much to comprehend. To help us out with our planning and accommodations, we incorporated the help of Linda & Colin Barker. They run a golf-travel company called Myrtle Beach Welcome. Linda, who is from England and sounds like the Queen over the phone, saved us the chore of sifting through the tourist hype and just got us to where we wanted to go. It may have been the best call we ever made -- “Hail to the Queen!”

     The destination for the first leg of the trip was the Hilton Head airport-hair care-and tire center. One of those tiny

places where about five planes land each day and all of the people are just absolutely thrilled – in a southern sort of way -- that we have actually come to visit. Their state slogan started to make some sense – “Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places.” Too bad it wasn’t, “Longer Runways, Better Planes.” Hilton Head isn’t exactly the easiest place to get to from the left coast.

We were fixed up in some nice two-bedroom condos at the Sea Pines Resort. One unit hosted Jim Allen, Jim Dee, Jeffrey Adkins & Mike Werner. Rickey Berger & Craig Decker took over the other, along with Mark Suzda and first time golfester Brian Birdwell. We would be joined by others on the second leg of the trip. Once situated in our rooms, our group wasted no time securing the necessary provisions that included – but were not limited to – Red Bull, Cigars, Vodka, Crown Royal, Tequila and margarita mixes. The Red Bull came in cases, and the alcohol came in gallon-sizes. After all, we had our priorities.

This excellent weekend would feature an 18-hole outing at the famous Harbour Town Golf Links, followed by a 120-mile drive up the coast to the Ocean Courseat Kiawah Island. The two were ranked 14th and 8th, respectively on the list, so we were pretty pumped.

     Harbour Town Golf Links was first up on Saturday morning. It was in pristine shape because it had hosted a PGA event the previous weekend. Some of the grounds crews were still in the process of dismantling the seating on the famous par-5 18th lighthouse hole. Despite the fact that 100,000 people had just trampled through it, the club house and pro shop were in excellent shape. It’s a classy place. After a breakfast burrito, we were off.

     Harbour Town is a somewhat narrow, tree lined affair, especially when you look back at the locations of the championship tees. Strategically placed traps and water make shot accuracy a must. I‘ve never seen so many divots from 100 to 120 yards in on most holes, pointing out that the pros played to their strengths on the last shot. We wished we had that problem.

     Two major improvements will happen to your golf game at Harbour Town. You will master the low punch-out shot from deep in the tree-line and you will know exactly where to look when your drives ricochet off a tree and lands in a trap. Rickey Berger had the best day, shooting a very respectable 74. Obviously, he avoided both scenarios.

     We had a high-noon tee time at Kiawah Island on Sunday, so we got our troops rolling around 8:00 a.m. The featured movies in the DVD-players in the mini-van and Expedition were Bagger Vance and Caddyshack. Collectively, our group has seen both movies enough time to actually recite the script. Mike and Jeffrey willingly surrendered the front seat of their Expedition to play the kiddy DVD role in the back seat. They literally knew every word of the movie. Need a flashback? I thought so …

Al Czervik: “Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.”

Carl Spackler: I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

Ty Webb: Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

Al Czervik: You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

Carl Spackler: Wait up, girls; I got a salami I gotta hide still.

Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny.
Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that.

Carl Spackler: Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!

Lacey Underall: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty Webb: Your uncle molests collies.

With lines like that, it’s amazing that Caddyshack didn’t win an Academy Award, putting itself in the same category as “Gone with the Wind. After all, the best Scarlett O’Hare could come up with was, “Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar.”

We were greeted at Kiawah Island with 20-mile per hour winds, which is normal for courses with the word OCEAN in their name. But it didn’t matter, because we were happy to get out of the car and the movie was over. More importantly, we were at the course which made its big screen debut (Nov. 2000) in the movie – “The Legend of Bagger Vance.” How about that for a DVD tie in?

We were treated to a first class facility and something new to most of us – GATORS! While it is probably no big deal to see one of these in the Carolinas, it’s a big deal for us. On the left coast, we are lucky to see the occasional deer or coyote. On most days, it’s just a squirrel and some horny rabbits. Of course, none of those second-tier animals have the “cool factor” of an eight-foot alligator sunbathing on a tee box.

This Pete Dye Course was built in 1991 and has more seaside holes than any other course in the North America – 10 right along the Atlantic with the other eight running parallel to those. The foursome of Berger, Birdwell, Decker and Suzda were first off. They spotted the first gator on the 12th hole and it was 10-foot long beast. Of course, all of us had to work the angles to get in a picture with it. Then there was the bright idea of seeing how close we could get to it. We discovered that alligators are extremely quick. Stupid tourist! One of us would have made a hearty meal. We taste like chicken.

The big excitement of the day took place on the 17th hole, a picturesque 168 yard par-three that basically is all carry over water. As spelled out in the course book – “any dry shot is a good shot on this hole.” Mark Suzda, who had won one million dollars with a Mega-Millions lottery ticket earlier in the year, continued his luck here. He nailed a seven-iron (which was caught on camera by Rickey Berger) into a 25-mile per hour wind, hit the edge of the green, and two-hopped it into the cup for his first ever hole-in-one. Now there are several types of hoopin’ and a hollerin’ that can take place on a golf course. There is the hoopin’ that takes place when one sinks a 50-footer for a birdie. There is the hollerin’ when one nails a tree and the ball punches back out to the center of (MORE)