Here is some proper course terminology for your next round:
A *Paris Hilton* - an expensive hole.
A *Rock Hudson* - looked straight, but it wasn't.
A *Cuban* - needed one more revolution.
An *Elton John *- a big bender that lips the rim.
An *Adolf Hitler* - two shots in the bunker.
A Saddam Hussein - from one bunker straight into another.
A *Kate Winslett* - little bit fat but otherwise perfect.
A *Rodney King* - over-clubbed.
An *O.J. Simpson* - got away with it.
A *Princess Grace* - should have taken a driver.
A *Princess Di* - shouldn't have taken a driver.
A *Michael Jackson* - gradually fading.
A *condom* - safe but didn't feel real good.
A *circus tent* - a BIG top.
An *Anna Kournikova* - looks great, but unlikely to get a result.
A Brazilian* - Shaves both sides of the hole.
A Jeb Bush--too far to the right, out of play.
A Nancy Pelosi-too far left, clueless on how to get home from there. 

     A married couple made an agreement that whoever died first would come back and inform the other about the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.
     After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made contact, calling her name at twilight as she sat on their patio enjoying the sunset: "Connie... Connie."
     "Is that you, Jack?"
     Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
     "That's wonderful! Now tell me---What is it like?"
     "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun, and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens), another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. Then I curl up and catch some sleep, and the next day, it starts all over again."
     "Oh, Jack you surely must be in Heaven!"
     "No, not exactly... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."

    The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forests Golf Courses.
     They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not to startle the bears unexpectedly.
     They also advise you to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.
     Golfers should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings on the golf course.
     Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.
     Grizzly bear droppings have balls, golf-gloves and sunglasses in them and smell like pepper spray.