MORE ON 2007

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A Quest to Play the Top 100 Public Golf Courses in the United States

A Quest to Play the Top 100 Public Golf Courses

MORE ON 2007

(CONT'D) ... Arnold Palmer had it easy when he designed this course, because it doesn’t look like a single tree was moved or that a single bulldozer every touched the grounds. Six of the holes sit upon bluffs that overlook two miles of marshlands bisected by the river. To say there was no margin for error on that side of the fairway would be an understatement. The interior holes were cut between freshwater lakes on a rolling layout. If the opportunity presented itself, most of us would return to play this course again.

The second 18 of the day was also river-related. The venue was the Glen Dornoch Waterway Golf Links, located in Little River, South Carolina. We grabbed some grub in their waterfront club house and were off with the assistance of some Intracoastal Waterways 15-mph winds. While the Rivers Edge was like visiting a nature preserve, Glen

Dornoch was more a great golf course that featured a continuous boat show. Everything from fishing boats and jet skis, to tour boats and huge casino paddle boats paraded up and down the Waterway next to the course.

     It’s kind of strange hitting an approach shot at a green with a six-story backdrop of a gambling boat floating by. Either way, it was a challenging course and we had a great time. At this point in the trip we had conquered seven courses in the past five days. We were tiring fast.

     On our trip back to Barefoot, we discovered that the Memorial Day weekend hosts “Black Bike Week” in Myrtle Beach. The town was anticipating the arrival of more
than 4000 African-American motorcycle enthusiasts from across the United States – on crotch rockets. Special barriers were set up on the roads and there was --- conservatively – at least three police cruisers on every block. All of a sudden Myrtle Beach became the safest place on the planet. The sound of Kawasaki Ninja’s ripping through the gears in a zero to 60 speed explosion was the norm; usually followed by the sounds of sirens. And to think that this isn't listed in any of the tourism brochures?

     We would only need to drive about a quarter mile the next morning for the Golfest finale at the Barefoot Resort -- which is actually home of four great courses. It gave us all a few extra minutes to sleep in. Since we had already conquered the rated Love and Fazio courses in 2006, we decided to try out the other two. On the scorecard was a morning round at the Dye Course, followed by an afternoon adventure on Norman's course. Both were equally impressive.

Just about everyone shot their best scores on the final day. Art Taylor shot a career best 96 on the Dye Course. After already knocking out 126 holes, most of us didn’t need much time on the range. It took about five balls to pop a couple of vertebra back into their proper positions, and … BAM … we were ready to go. Practice swings? “Hah … , we don’t need to stinkin’ practice swings!” If you didn’t know what you had by then, you didn’t need a golf cart, you needed a short bus.

The Dye course has a killer clubhouse that features custom woodwork everywhere, giving it that “private mens club, cigar-smoking, poker-table, law-library, glass of cognac” type of feel. Bob Potts was in the zone at Pete’s place, coming to life with an awe-inspiring 74. This would be the same guy who shot a 91 on Pinehurst No. 7, proving that Golfest can massage your ego one day, and kick you in the nuts on another.

     Many of us played up the Kasey Scheidenlein/Fred Durst look-a-like deal with the cart girls at the Norman course – resulting in several free drinks. Since we were all wearing the same Golfest shirts, it was easy to sell the alleged fact that we were his managers, while others were his body guards, the Limp Bizkit tour bus driver, and entourage. I think Kasey even ended up signing some autographs in the process.

     In fact, Kasey exposed us to a whole generation of body art enthusiasts. One night while having dinner at Outback, a young lady bartender was admiring his tattoos. Kasey gave her the obligatory guided tattoo tour while sitting at the bar. Next thing we know, she is flipping up her shirt showing us hers. Heck, I dream about that kind of stuff.

     After the Norman round, our group bellied up to the entire 30 foot length of the Barefoot bar for a celebration drink or two. Some of them were more potent then others. Jeffrey Adkins kept his non-drinking streak alive at seven months and counting – which is tough to do on a trip featuring this kind of peer pressure. It is all part of Jeffrey’s master plan to reduce his cholesterol levels, which are hovering around 8500. Side effects include the lack of nausea, lack of Golfest injuries and the ability to bounce out of bed in the morning.

From Norman’s course, we cruised down the street to (Greg) Norman’s restaurant. A few of us painfully white Caucasian guys and our token Hispanic guy – all of us over 40 years old -- rolled down the windows of the rental mini-van to check out some of the Black Bike Week activities. We were treated to the whole show as we motored up the main drag. There was a ton o’money tied up in these rides, not to mention a lot of talent sitting on the back of many. And like most bike weeks, there was a fair amount of skin being displayed by the women. Many were in the Halle Barry category, while others seriously tested the capacity of the shock absorbers (think Star Jones in hot pants -- before the diet.) We eventually made it to Norman’s, but not before laughing our asses off, getting dealt some hot-mama air-kisses, and some video of some of the whale-tail (think ... THONG!) showing women on the crotch rockets. We are so easily entertained, aren’t we? And to think this show was thrown in at no extra charge!

We racked up a $700 dinner tab and didn’t have a single complaint from any members of our party. We ate and drank like kings because it had been another great trip. It all came down to the best laid plans (A, B, C & D) -- and it was time to start planning the 2008 version. (TOP)