(CONT'D) ... might have been a good thing, especially when Mark Suzda threw him out of our mini-van for interfering with his driving.  Pizza, beer, and NBA basketball are on tap tonight in the Cottages.  Jeffrey slept right threw it all.  118 holes down -- 36 to go.  We have a 115 mile drive tomorrow morning to get to ...

5/20/08 - Arcadia Bluffs Golf Course
10th ranked - Arcadia, MI
     We are headed to the 10th ranked golf course in the nation.  If everything works out correctly, we have it timed to arrive with an hour to spare.  After dropping our bags, the pro shop informs us that our tee times were changed and that we are expected on the first tee box in eight minutes – non-negotiable – take it or leave it.  What?  That’s not good.  Our group got separated on the back roads and we have only four golfers at the course.  The cell phones begin dialing in search of our next group due on the box in only 18-minutes.  As it turns out, this was a sign of things to come, because this turned out to be the most disappointing stop of the Golfest 2008 tour.  In fact, it was the worst day we had ever experienced on any of our five Golfest adventures.

     It was horrible from the start.  Let's start off with a grueling marathon round that dragged on for just ten minutes shy of six-hours.  This surprised us in a big way because the starter spent a few minutes lecturing us that Arcadia Bluffs does not tolerate slow play (coincidentally, neither do we!)

     Worse yet, the course marshal, who we only saw once all day, didn't seem to care.  His response was a shrug of his shoulders as he drove away, which wasn’t promising since the place was more backed up then a bathroom at a rock concert.  It was so bad that at one point, we had three of our groups standing on the same tee box.

     We ordered food prior to the turn on their GPS system, only to have our cheeseburgers sit 20-minutes and get cold.  The food staff didn’t seem to care either. Another shrug!  Then there were the course maintenance workers who harassed Jim Dee, Kasey and Spanky for five consecutive holes.  Apparently, the workers didn’t know anything about the common courtesy of turning off their mowers while players putted – five holes in a row.  Heck, they shouldn’t have even seen them more than once all day. (Most courses cut their courses in reverse order to eliminate this situation.)

     After this golf fiasco ended, I expressed my dismay to the pro shop staff.  When I informed the trainee at the counter that our round lasted almost six hours, he disagreed with me.  What?  Are you kidding me?  He said the rounds had been running at four hours and 15-minutes all day long.  Apparently, he was smoking crack during his break.  I encouraged him do a little math from my 11:50 tee time to the current 5:45 p.m. time that I was standing in front of him.  No apology, just another shrug of his shoulders. I sensing a theme here!  The manager finally showed up and didn’t seem concerned enough to say "I’m sorry" until prompted to say so.  By that time, it was totally insincere.

     Rather than spend a lot of our money in the bar and pro shop, we loaded up and left -- vowing to never return again.  Ironically, stuck under the windshield wiper of the mini-van was a Arcadia Bluffs business card piece of paper.  It read, and this is for real, "After experiencing one of the finest views in America, we wanted you to have a clear view home." Yah right!  The only thing I wanted to view was the golf course in our rear view mirror.

     Considering that our group has a lot of experience with top 100 establishments, ranging from Pebble Beach to Pinehurst, this was our most disappointing experience EVER. Based on the overall experience, none of us would rate it in the top 100, much less the top 10.

     Along those lines, our group has made the decision to go out of our way to NOT recommend this place and we will succeed because bad news travels faster than good.  So here is our advice:  If you have a chance to play Arcadia Bluffs, or get kicked in the groin, take the kick ... it will be less painful.

5/21/08 - Tullymore Golf Club
24th ranked - Stanwood, MI
     After driving 105 miles from the course that we will never mention again ... we stayed at the nice St. Ives Resort in Stanwood.  Dinner was Baby-Back Ribs from Applebee’s and we arrived at 9:30 p.m.

     Our tee time at Tullymore was booked for 8:10 a.m.  It came as no surprise that we were greeted with our typical bone-chilling, slightly windy 42-degree weather.  But at this point, it doesn’t matter, because we were getting pretty good at it. Despite the fact that there is a 15,000 square foot clubhouse under construction on site, this course has been bumped up to number 14 on the Golf Digest list.  Based on the service and the course, we can see why.  This place rocks!

     The course personnel rolled out the red carpet and backed it up with a stellar course.  This included everyone from the pro shop staff and the marshals to the friendly staff at the turn.  It warmed up about five-holes into the round and proved to be a great morning.  This is a very photogenic course that meanders around lakes, creeks, and rolling hills.  The club's ads read, "It's like Heaven with golf carts."  You know what? ... I would be willing to go there when I keel over, assuming it's a little warmer.

     ... Reality is setting in quickly because we are running out of holes to play in Golfest 2008. The final hole is a par five dogleg left with a drive over water. As we finished, we gathered on the hill around the green and watched everyone finish their 144th hole of Golfest 2008.  Most of us agree that Tullymore is one of the top two courses in Michigan and will land on many of our top ten lists.

      After a series of group photos near the front entrance, we convoy another 180-miles to the MGM Grand Casino in Detroit.  Awards for the week will be passed out in about 1/2 hour at the Bourbon Steak Restaurant.  It's hard to believe it's over.


5/22/08 - Travel Day
     Our group racked up a hefty $1926 dinner tab at the Bourbon Steak Restaurant last night.  The food and the service were excellent.  The steaks were thick, the drinks were strong, and the stories were better.  Mike Werner has several volunteers ask to cut his steak for him.  He’s waving his steak knife in a threatening fashion.  "SECURITY TO TABLE FOUR!"

     We also did something new on this trip and that was present some Golfest 2008 awards.  Craig Decker had the low score of the week; his 82 at Shepards Hollow.  Joe Arellanes’es high score prediction on the inbound flight held true as he took the ominous honors with 122 swings, slices, hacks, duffs, and chili-dips at Bay Harbor.

     Mike Rittner, who was one of the most consistent golfers all week, earned Low Net with a stellar 68; also at the Hollow.  Kasey Scheidenlein, who caught the golf bug in a big way, earned the Most Improved award. In just a year, he had knocked his scores down by at least a dozen strokes.

     We had several viable candidates for the inaugural TRIPLE BOGEY AWARD, which was designed to honor a unique (usually disastrous) event on the trip.  The runner-ups in a close battle were Spanky Hayes for PUKEFEST, and Art Taylor for FIVE-PUTTFEST.  But the award went to Mike Werner for his near death experience with CHOKEFEST.  He became the first Golfest golfer to have outpatient surgery performed on him during a trip.

     By the way, the MGM Grand Detroit is a nice place! Heck, until this trip, I didn’t even know that gambling was legal in Michigan.  It’s like being in a time warp, because the second you pull out of valet parking, you are in the middle of the economically depressed city. Go figure?  …

     There is no better way to end a road trip then with a good road trip story.  Since we didn’t have GPS, our Mark Suzda piloted mini-van decided to follow Craig Decker’s to the airport.  According to our Map Quest, this was a simple 21-mile drive.  However, rather than programming the Detroit Metropolitan Airport into their device, Joe Arellanes entered the Detroit Metropolitan Fire Department.  That led to four U-turns, one river toll booth crossing, two stops for directions and finally, as a last resort, frantic stares into the sky searching for airplanes.  One hour and ten minutes later, we completed the 20-minute drive. You don’t see that everyday!

     Golfest … Real Golfers … Real Trips … Real Adventures!  Until next year ... See Ya!